Sick of it!!

Here is a look at what the bells palsy effects. When she sleeps the other eye does close, thankfully. She has been through so much, yet still gives us some smiles.
No, she didn't break her arm. When she got RSV, she was also throwin up, so she had to go in daily to get fluids through an IV. They left the IV port in for a week & they did this so she would not pull it out.

I love this picture, she just has the cutes expression! & you can see just how small she really is. Which is only 13 1/2 lbs @ 15months old.

These two are only 2 weeks apart. They are good friends, her & her family moved in the neighborhood same time we did. We have alot of fun when we get together.

We are so sick of being sick. We have been sick since the 2nd week in February! Really not exaggerating. First Pais got RSV, she actually did okay with it. It lasted almost 2 weeks. Then we got a cold. After that came the stomach bug. Then another cold. Last but not least Pais has bells palsy, she woke up last Friday with green puss draining out her ear & we took her to the DR's & we noticed the right side of her face wasn't moving. We went to the hospital to get a CT scan to check her brain activity & see if the infection was in the bone or muscle. Both were good, so the palsy should go away. How long we don't know. So that has been our crappy 2 months!

Here's are girl with her sad face.

This time last year we had to leave our little girl at the hospital. I REMEMBER feeling my heart break into a million pieces as we drove away from the hospital. I REMEMBER crying & wanting to turn right around & go back, at the same time wanting to go & be with Blake. Even though I was only 20 minutes away it felt like I was going to another country. I had to trust strangers to take care of my little one. Don't get me wrong I would not have wanted her to be in any other hospital, it's just she's mine & should be with me! I am so grateful for a wonderful aunt who let us take over her home for the next 3 months. I REMEMBER going to wal-mart & getting a few things we needed. Sitting there waiting by the registers I REMEMBER it was like in the movies when the character looks out & everything is a blur. I felt different. In the hospital everyone knew what had happened & here no one knew. Its funny I REMEMBER when I had Blake my mom bought me new pj's & when we were at wal-mart she bought me comfy clothes to wear while I healed. It wasn't a big thing, but it meant ALOT. THANKS MOM

Happy Birthday Paisley!!

Then
Paisley was born on December 30th 2008 @ 11:57 am via c-section. She weighed 1lb 10 oz & was 13 inches long. Around 3 am this day last year I woke up & knew that she would be delivered this day. I had been trying my hardest to lie to the doctors about my condition getting worse (I know, stupid right!), but every day made such a huge difference. Finally they did some blood work & found me out. I REMEMBER them taking me into the room & no one could come with me. I REMEMBER a nurse holding my hand. Then Luke was able to come in. Within a few minutes she was here, they said she cried right away. I wasn't able to see her for a few h0urs. While everyone got to go she her, I was hooked up to the milking machine! (I am a jersey by the way, I produce pure cream).




I will admit I was TERRIFIED the first time I saw her, she was so tiny, I couldn't see her face she had wires & tubes everywhere. I kept thinking I'm gonna wake up, I'm gonna wake up & still be pregnant for the next 3 months. Don't get me wrong I loved her so much my heart was breaking.

Some funnies: they moved me from labor & delivery the day before I had her & the nurse taking me to the other side of the hospital says "Congratulations on your baby". WHAT THE _ _ _ _! I look at Luke like "did I miss something". The nurse says "you just had a c-section right?" Needless to say she was not getting a thank you card. Another thing we can laugh about now, I had gained about 20+lbs with the mag. they had me on to prevent seizures, & Grandma Delsa tells me when she saw me all she could think is, man your boobs are huge!!Thanks Grandma



Now
Paisley is around 14lbs, she is the BIGGEST daddy's girl. She has been crawling for about a month now. Says "dada" any time I try to get her to say "mama"! Still as bawled as the day she was born & has no teeth. She thinks she is a big girl & wants nothing to do with baby food, only wants what we are eating. She is into everything!! & I love it!! She loves her brother & wants to do whatever he is doing.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BABY GIRL!!

Red Fish!!

We asked Blake what kinda treat we should make for Santa, he says,"red fish".So we thought maybe salmon, fish crackers. Then we found what he wanted Swedish candy fish. He really knows his Santa!!!

For Paisley's first Christmas she got her first baby doll. She loves it.

The kiddos with all their loot. Well almost all of it.

Our little candy cane, I couldn't resist dressing her for the occasion.

Merry Christmas!!! We love you!!

This time last year

This time last year Blake & I were up in Emery County spending time at grandma Reba's house. This day I heard the story of our angels from Becky. I felt fine the whole time. Everyone was commenting on my swollen ankles (mind you I had only gained like 4lbs & was around 25 weeks). So I began checking my blood pressure. Then the day after Christmas the whole family was going to go to the movies, my blood pressure had gotten up to 190/135. Average BP is like 120/80. I am stubborn I will admit. I didn't want to go into Price hospital (not my favorite hospital) I wanted to wait the 2 days til we were back home & I could go into see my doctor. But because of the story of our angels I went. It was no coincidence we saw the same doctor our angels saw, & because of this they knew right away what to do with us. Let me back up a bit, before we left for the hospital we didn't say bye to Blake (I will forever have guilt over this) we thought we would just see him in half an hour or so. It was no coincidence that we were with family when this all happened, so that they could take care of Blake.

I REMEMBER after the doctor said, "preclampsia" I looked at Luke & I felt as if the world had stopped turning. I heard the word life flight & University of Utah & deliver. I wondered if our fate would be the same as our angels. I was so grateful for the knowledge of eternal families, that if that was the case our little girl would still be ours. I am grateful for so many loving family members. I remember getting a blessing from my sisters father & brother in law. How grateful I am for the priesthood. I remember the look on every ones faces mirroring my own. I was so scared.

Bart, sweet air-med nurse Bart. He asked what we were having, when I said a girl, he said she will be fine, she's gonna make it. & I believed him. He swept my hair back with his hand. I will never forget his kindness.

The plane ride to U of U med center was very peaceful. I had been shaking, but once in the air I calmed down.I was so glad they had to bring the fixed winged airplane cause that meant Luke could ride with me. Oh how I love this man. I usually am the strong one, but he gave me strength. I felt very close to heaven in the air. I looked out the window at the stars peeking through the clouds & prayed to my Lord that he would save my sweet baby girl.

When I arrived at U of U, coming off the elevator I saw my mom, her husband, & my sister. It was the best feeling to see them there. I hope they know how much I love & appreciate them.

To be continued...

Lately I have been very emotional about Paisley turning 1! I think as a mom the 1st birthday is an emotional one any ways. But with all that has happened this last year, I find myself finally processing all that went on. I think I just went through the motions, and did what I had to do. And now a year later I am reliving last years events. Its like I'm going through it all over again,
the feelings I have are so strong. Don't get me wrong I feel so blessed to be one of the lucky mothers who was able to bring their baby home, when others could not. I want to journal some things that I couldn't bring myself to write down last year so that my children can see how we have been blessed by our Heavenly Father & His son Jesus. That they may also know that everything happens for a reason.

One of my favorite memories of last Christmas, Luke & I were trying to decided on a name for our little girl. I loved Paisley & just felt like that should be her name. Luke wanted to think about other names since we had time (or so we thought). But Christmas morning he hands me a baby book & where it says, "this book belongs to", he had my mom write Paisley. And this was my Christmas present.

Little Rascal

Shake That Booty!!!

We had a crazy fun few weeks. After Halloween we headed
to SLC for Caitlin's blessing. Then me and the kiddos headed
to Star Valley. We had alot of fun spending time with family.

We also got to go flying with grandpa Dave. I didn't get pics,

Emily has some on her blog. By the end of the ride both boys

(Brad & Blake) were asleep!Here's Pais with Grandpa Kay &

Grandma Delsa.

Then back to SLC to Primary's for another swallow study &
visit to the U of U's NBICU. We were able to see some of our
favorite nurses. Here's Pais with Heather, one of her primary
nurses. She seemed to know her when she heard her talk.

Here is Jill another one of Paisleys' primary nurses.They are
so amazing. We are so grateful to have had such angels taking care
of our little girl!

This is Caitlin & Paisley sitting on Luke's lap. Caitlin is only

4 months old & she seems to be tha same size as Pais who is

10 months old!!

We also got to hang out with Grandma Redda. & Blake got to have

a sleep over with aunt Beta & piggybear.Thank you everyone for

the yummy meals & good times.

What do get with a Cheesehead,a Pixie, & Buzz lightyear?

My cute little family.

Blake hade so much fun this year being Buzz Lightyear. We went

to a Trunk or Treat with some friends & if there was too long a line

at one car Blake would just move onto the next one!

Blake got to go to an Suu football game with Daddy. He had

so much fun & found himself a much older girlfriend.

Home Depot had a little carnival for Halloween, so I took Blake in

& he got his face painted & had alot of fun with the games.

Blake not quite sure what to do with the first snow!!